It's been a year and a half since I've written, or posted pictures on this blog. It's been a crazy time. This move to Missouri has been a bit of a roller coaster. I have really had an up and down time with depression. Depression is something I have had since I was a little girl. Sometimes are better than others, but it is always there. I don't know if you have seen the "Clariton Clear' commercials on TV, but that is kind of how my life is, without the 'clear' part. Most of the time it feels like I am viewing life through a lens that has been smeared with Vaseline. Some days, and even weeks, are a little better and little clearer, but I think there have been very few times in my entire life that the lens has been sparkling clean, allowing me to view myself, others, and life in general the way I know it should be.
Last year, 2012, had me getting employed...twice. The second job I got was the one I really wanted, but their hiring time was off my needing a job, by four months. It was much harder getting back into a very physical job again. I'm not getting any younger, and body keeps telling me that. Stan was able to find a job, also very physical, but also out in the weather, whether it was hot and humid or wet and cold. We were able to do what we needed to do and got through 2012.
January 4, 2013, the company Stan worked for got into an ugly legal take over battle. Because of that, 3/4 of the employees lost their jobs, Stan included. This year has been a difficult time for Stan. Because his knee replacement surgery was part of the 1% that doesn't turn out well, he is STILL having trouble with his leg, not just the knee. The knee has never unswollen to what it was before surgery. It hurts if he is on it too much and swells his entire leg down to his ankle. Because of the restrains on his physical ability to do things, companies in the area were not willing to hire him. He was able to start work again with Saflok, a company he and I worked together after we returned home from our mission to Ukraine. It is on a very part time basis, but he has always enjoyed the work. He only works about once every 4 to 6 weeks, but when he does, the income is good and helps supplement what I earn, which allows us a little more freedom.
Me becoming the main bread winner has been difficult, at best, for both Stan and me. This is not the life we had envisioned. In fact, it is the exact opposite of what we had envisioned. With this move, we had thought Stan would take over completely the bread winner status, and I would take a backseat, being a homemaker, enjoying quilting, and visiting and helping our children and grandchildren when the need arose. Instead, we sold my quilting machine; I didn't have any time or energy to devote to it and we needed the money. Stan has been the one who has been able to visit and help our children. In January he helped move Rachel and Endrit to Colorado Springs, CO, where Endrit was able to get an excellent post doc job. Then a couple of months later, he went to Idaho and helped move Phillip and Nicole to Utah. He has also been able to help Isaac a couple of times this year. His brother Brian has enlisted his help in Kansas several times. He has really enjoyed visiting and helping family members, but feels badly that I have had to stay home and work.
So, life as we know it, continues to throw us curves, which we chase to ground, pick up and carry on...
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